An iPod + the Mafia + the FBI + a distressed ‘male model’ equals…
By Ronald O Carlson
When a perhaps certifiable individual starts receiving threats from the mafia via receivers hidden inside his iPods, quite naturally the police and FBI were asked to inquire and, as one might expect, they chose not to participate. Now, this tragic figure from the Show Me State has found a lawyer to file a lawsuit on his behalf in federal court, seeking some rather significant “damages.”
News.com brings us the story of Gregory McKenna of Florissant, Missouri, who is suing Apple because he says his iPod shuffle and iPod mini contained illegal receivers that allowed the Mafia to send him threatening messages. Further, the suit also names the St. Louis Police Department, FBI, private investigator and — wait for it — an auto mechanic.
So, what were these threats? Mafia members purportedly stalked and threatened, as well as attempt rape and kidnapping so he would return to New York, and work as a model and gay sex slave.
There but for the grace…
McKenna says in the court filing that he hired a private investigator who found listening devices throughout his house and car, as well as the purported receivers in the iPods. Thereupon, police contacted the sleuth to confirm these findings only to be told that nothing of the sort was ever found.
Alternately, one can imagine the P.I. adding, “What can I say? He paid in cash.”
Lastly, McKenna is said to be seeking $14.2 million in damages, though I’m guessing his legal representation isn’t working just for a cut of the settlement…
What’s your take?
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July 21st, 2009
LOL sounds stupid.
Only in America!
August 14th, 2009
“Lastly, McKenna is said to be seeking $14.2 million in damages, though I’m guessing his legal representation isn’t working just for a cut of the settlement… What’s your take?”
My “take” is that Mr. McKenna is filing “pro se” i.e. he is self represented and has no lawyer.
This is what I call a “fact.”
But don’t let facts stand in the way of lawyer bashing, or going along with the PR campaign of the National Chamber of Commerce and Big Tobacco to discredit the civil jury system, lest they ever, ever be held accountable by regular (sane) people, if they exceed reasonable conduct and actually hurt people.