Apple could lock out jailbreakers [sulfur permeates the air]

August 22, 2010

Anybody that has immediate and intimate access to the guts of your device, whether that be an iPhone or Android device, can do pretty much whatever they want. Thereupon, if you get your knickers in a twist and squint really hard, you’ll see that a recent Apple patent carries the mark of the beast.

From the “all the news that isn’t” department comes this twisted bit of selective paranoia. Whereas AppleInsider sees an Apple patent that describes tech that could, among other things, make sharing an iPhone and iPad with multiple user accounts as simple as passing it around, Engadget finds cloven hooves trampling individual liberties:

While the patent mostly sounds targeted at opt-in security software and would simply send you an alert or perform a remote wipe if your phone were stolen or hacked, jailbreaking and unlocking are also explicitly mentioned as the marks of an unauthorized user, and one line mentions that cellular carriers could shut down or cripple a device when such a user is detected. Sounds great for securing phones at retail, sure, but personally we’d rather devices don’t determine our authority by monitoring our heartbeat (seriously, that’s an option) and we’re plenty happy with the existing Find My iPhone app.”

See also: The Register

Again, if you get your smalls all bunched up and focus so hard your vision blurs, the possibility of Apple’s direct complicity with the dark lord becomes appallingly obvious.

My personal take? Although it’s a gray, leaden day outside, the air coming in my office window has an after rain (depressing) sweetness, the coffee (an addiction) is brewing and French toast (vein clogging fat) is on the menu.

That is, life and Apple patent documents are what you make of them…

What’s your take?

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